Listen, then Speak

James 1:19
cf James 1:26; 3:3-12


Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. It doesn't make sense. If we're going to get our way, we have to persuade people around us, we have to argue for our position. We have to make them see things our way. Our culture is all about talking. But James is saying something here that most of the best salespeople already know--the best communicators are the best listeners. First, listening values the other person, important in a biblical perspective. But also, listening clues you in on the other person's needs and desires. You're better able to match your message to what they want to hear. Don't forget the last phrase--be slow to get angry. One way to read that in context might be "don't get defensive." When we get defensive, the parts of our brains that enable empathy as well as rationale thought get less blood flow--those things get shut down. The result is that we're unable to listen. God knew it all along--listen first and don't get defensive.


The tips in James 1:26 and 3:3-12 are also relevant here--watch what you say. How many times have you said something and immediately thought, "Oh, I wish I could take that back?" Too often, comments slip out that wiser people would have let go unsaid. James is recognizing that, reiterating that we need to be slow to speak.


The two skills, listening and speaking, go hand-in-hand. You cannot be quick to listen if you're worried about what you need to say. And why bother being slow to speak if you're not willing to listen to the other person? Work on these things. You're not going to get better at them overnight, but you'll benefit tremendously in your workplace as you work at them.