I blogged about positive gossip a few months ago, but it bears repeating. Positive gossip is telling others about the good things that someone else has done, kind of spreading praise behind some one's back. Think about the good that comes from spreading good news about people. There is a lot of emphasis of getting ahead of people. Part of that may be office politics which some times involves gossiping about others. For a Christian, positive gossip involves using your tongue to bless instead of to curse (James 3:9-12). It's being salt and light in the world.
Take some time to encourage others by praising them behind their backs. They may be suspicious at first, particularly if your workplace is very political. But over time, watch how your encouragement spreads to others.
Showing posts with label Gossip. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gossip. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Positive Gossip
I used a textbook once that talked about relating to others in an office. One danger that the book admonished students to avoid was negative gossip. Obviously, this blog has made similar statements. But, if you're discussing negative gossip, then that brings up the question--what is positive gossip? According to this textbook, positive gossip is telling others about the good things that someone else has done, kind of spreading praise behind someone's back--if a coworker accomplishes something, bragging about him or her to others, or let your supervisor know how easy so-and-so is to work with. This secular textbook described positive gossip as a way to build relationships, to be well-liked by your peers. From a Christian standpoint, this idea of positive gossip shouldn't be anything new. It is spreading joy, using your tongue to bless instead of to curse (James 3:9-12).
The opposite of this is constantly challenging everyone around you, vying for achievements of your own while denegrating those of your colleagues. Be careful about that. That was the same trouble that James and John got into as they asked Jesus to “promote” them ahead of the other disciples.
Be free with your praise of others. Spread the bragging rights around and see what some positive gossip can do for your workplace.
The opposite of this is constantly challenging everyone around you, vying for achievements of your own while denegrating those of your colleagues. Be careful about that. That was the same trouble that James and John got into as they asked Jesus to “promote” them ahead of the other disciples.
Be free with your praise of others. Spread the bragging rights around and see what some positive gossip can do for your workplace.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
What Will the Little Birdy Hear?
Ecclesiastes 10:20
Ecclesiastes 10 closes on an interesting note, with wisdom that almost sounds like it belongs in a storybook or cartoon. The Teacher describes a person, in his or her bedroom, complaining about the king. A bird in that room goes and relays your complaint to the king. Sounds funny, right? But here's the thing--the point is that you never know when something that you say will get back to someone that you didn't intend. Now think about that in the workplace. "Do not revile your [boss], even in your thoughts." Let's face it. There are some terrible bosses out there. You may have one. Even if you do, be very careful about how you think about him or her. When you dwell on how much you hate your boss, those thoughts are probably going to leak out, no matter how much you try to hide it. People are going to find out. And when they do, either because your tone and behaviors betray you or because you vent to someone, you never know when those thoughts will get back to your boss. Instead, better to pray for your boss. Better to support him or her. Obey. Respect. Even if they are against you, be subject to them. Above all, don't "revile" them.
Ecclesiastes 10 closes on an interesting note, with wisdom that almost sounds like it belongs in a storybook or cartoon. The Teacher describes a person, in his or her bedroom, complaining about the king. A bird in that room goes and relays your complaint to the king. Sounds funny, right? But here's the thing--the point is that you never know when something that you say will get back to someone that you didn't intend. Now think about that in the workplace. "Do not revile your [boss], even in your thoughts." Let's face it. There are some terrible bosses out there. You may have one. Even if you do, be very careful about how you think about him or her. When you dwell on how much you hate your boss, those thoughts are probably going to leak out, no matter how much you try to hide it. People are going to find out. And when they do, either because your tone and behaviors betray you or because you vent to someone, you never know when those thoughts will get back to your boss. Instead, better to pray for your boss. Better to support him or her. Obey. Respect. Even if they are against you, be subject to them. Above all, don't "revile" them.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Conflict with Coworkers
Proverbs 26:17-20
These verses have to do with general principles regarding conflict, but I think they are as applicable within a workplace as they are in any other context. Verse 17 says, "Like one who seizes a dog by the ears is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own." Pretty powerful imagery. Have you ever seen two people upset with each other and wanted to help? It's only natural to want to make peace if two people around you are in conflict. But be careful. You may be seen as taking sides, or your friend may turn on you specifically for not taking sides. Anything you say can be misinterpreted. Be very careful.
The next two verses have to do with sarcasm or practical jokes. "Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, "I was only joking!" People that know me really well will tell you that I love to kid around. Many people consider a good sense of humor a must for dealing with people. But be careful how you use humor. Sometimes people don't get the joke, particularly when they are the target. Playing a trick on someone or making a coworker believe something that isn't true and saying, "Gotcha!" can backfire.
Finally, verse 20 (as well as verse 22) warns about the danger of gossip. How much worse are conflicts when people start talking about them?! Whereas two coworkers might otherwise let a conflict between them die out, when the rest of the office is talking about it, the conflict grows bigger and bigger. People take sides and tell each person that he or she is justified in being upset. Misinformation is rampant as rumors get back to each side. Pretty soon, the positions are locked and the chances of managing the conflict while preserving relationships dwindle. The metaphor of this proverb is apt: the fire of office conflict might die out, but gossip rekindles hurts, indignation, and anger to keep it going.
I think these are interesting thoughts about coworker conflicts, particularly applicable in today's workplaces where dealing with people is a must.
These verses have to do with general principles regarding conflict, but I think they are as applicable within a workplace as they are in any other context. Verse 17 says, "Like one who seizes a dog by the ears is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own." Pretty powerful imagery. Have you ever seen two people upset with each other and wanted to help? It's only natural to want to make peace if two people around you are in conflict. But be careful. You may be seen as taking sides, or your friend may turn on you specifically for not taking sides. Anything you say can be misinterpreted. Be very careful.
The next two verses have to do with sarcasm or practical jokes. "Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, "I was only joking!" People that know me really well will tell you that I love to kid around. Many people consider a good sense of humor a must for dealing with people. But be careful how you use humor. Sometimes people don't get the joke, particularly when they are the target. Playing a trick on someone or making a coworker believe something that isn't true and saying, "Gotcha!" can backfire.
Finally, verse 20 (as well as verse 22) warns about the danger of gossip. How much worse are conflicts when people start talking about them?! Whereas two coworkers might otherwise let a conflict between them die out, when the rest of the office is talking about it, the conflict grows bigger and bigger. People take sides and tell each person that he or she is justified in being upset. Misinformation is rampant as rumors get back to each side. Pretty soon, the positions are locked and the chances of managing the conflict while preserving relationships dwindle. The metaphor of this proverb is apt: the fire of office conflict might die out, but gossip rekindles hurts, indignation, and anger to keep it going.
I think these are interesting thoughts about coworker conflicts, particularly applicable in today's workplaces where dealing with people is a must.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Stand Out From the Crowd
1 Peter 1:13-17; 2:1, 12
These are not work-specific passages, but in just a few short verses, Peter gives some interesting ideas, ideas that are far from what you coworkers might expect. Be self-controlled. Set your mind on Christ. Be holy. Stay away from malice. Don't lie. Get rid of hypocrisy. Don't be envious. Don't slander others. Crave spiritual growth. More than a laundry list of do's and don't's, this is a recipe for how to not fit in. But that's the point. We talk about our kids and their desire to fit in at school. Yet we're no different from them. But Peter is telling us to be different. "Live such good lives among [your coworkers] that, though they [don't accept or understand you], they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us." Stand out from the crowd.
These are not work-specific passages, but in just a few short verses, Peter gives some interesting ideas, ideas that are far from what you coworkers might expect. Be self-controlled. Set your mind on Christ. Be holy. Stay away from malice. Don't lie. Get rid of hypocrisy. Don't be envious. Don't slander others. Crave spiritual growth. More than a laundry list of do's and don't's, this is a recipe for how to not fit in. But that's the point. We talk about our kids and their desire to fit in at school. Yet we're no different from them. But Peter is telling us to be different. "Live such good lives among [your coworkers] that, though they [don't accept or understand you], they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us." Stand out from the crowd.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Gossip
James 4:11
cf James 5:9
Don't slander others. The context here refers specifically to gossiping about other Christians, but I think the idea about not gossiping period is born out in other passages. Let's be completely honest--it's tough not to join in when others are talking about someone. You may fear being left out. You may want the approval and acceptance that comes from sharing "your" stories about the subject of the gossip. It's easy to justify spreading rumors with things like "it's not gossip if it's true" and "it's not gossip, they really need to know what this person is like." Most of us have used those or similar justifications. To be fair, this specific passage may be focused on spreading falsehoods about others, but think about this. When you tell stories about someone behind their back, you are typically only giving one side of what happened, a side heavily influenced by your perceptions. Presenting your side of things as the only side is just as false as telling a bald-faced lie, but that is what you do when you gossip about someone.
In another passage, Paul talks about gossip as stirring up trouble. In another place, he condemns "godless chatter," which certainly relates to gossip and slander. In yet a third place, he specifically states that slaves shouldn't slander their master, which might relate to not gossiping about your supervisor. The point is clear--gossip is a bad deal.
Think about what happens when you gossip or slander. Yes, it's true that you may experience the solidarity that comes from a common experience. In the moment, gossip does bring gossipers together. But then it also creates one of two mentalities. First, gossip creates an "us versus them" mentality when you are gossiping about someone that you don't like. Or, gossip can create an "at least we're better than that" attitude when you are gossiping about someone else's unfortunate circumstances. So you either reinforce an attitude of malice or superiority toward someone else, someone who is created in God's image and who is loved by God. And you are doing it based only on partial information, when you don't know the whole story. No wonder Paul and James are so tough on gossipers.
It's tough to not gossip. We want to join in, we want to share what we know. And we want to know what others know. When everyone is sharing stories, it's hard to stay silent, walk away, or even speak up about not talking about that person. But at work or anywhere else, it's the right thing to do.
cf James 5:9
Don't slander others. The context here refers specifically to gossiping about other Christians, but I think the idea about not gossiping period is born out in other passages. Let's be completely honest--it's tough not to join in when others are talking about someone. You may fear being left out. You may want the approval and acceptance that comes from sharing "your" stories about the subject of the gossip. It's easy to justify spreading rumors with things like "it's not gossip if it's true" and "it's not gossip, they really need to know what this person is like." Most of us have used those or similar justifications. To be fair, this specific passage may be focused on spreading falsehoods about others, but think about this. When you tell stories about someone behind their back, you are typically only giving one side of what happened, a side heavily influenced by your perceptions. Presenting your side of things as the only side is just as false as telling a bald-faced lie, but that is what you do when you gossip about someone.
In another passage, Paul talks about gossip as stirring up trouble. In another place, he condemns "godless chatter," which certainly relates to gossip and slander. In yet a third place, he specifically states that slaves shouldn't slander their master, which might relate to not gossiping about your supervisor. The point is clear--gossip is a bad deal.
Think about what happens when you gossip or slander. Yes, it's true that you may experience the solidarity that comes from a common experience. In the moment, gossip does bring gossipers together. But then it also creates one of two mentalities. First, gossip creates an "us versus them" mentality when you are gossiping about someone that you don't like. Or, gossip can create an "at least we're better than that" attitude when you are gossiping about someone else's unfortunate circumstances. So you either reinforce an attitude of malice or superiority toward someone else, someone who is created in God's image and who is loved by God. And you are doing it based only on partial information, when you don't know the whole story. No wonder Paul and James are so tough on gossipers.
It's tough to not gossip. We want to join in, we want to share what we know. And we want to know what others know. When everyone is sharing stories, it's hard to stay silent, walk away, or even speak up about not talking about that person. But at work or anywhere else, it's the right thing to do.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Be Subject to Your Boss
Titus 2:9-10
Again, this passage is about the master-slave relationship, but it is still applicable to workplaces in our culture. Paul says that Titus should "teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them." Isn't that interesting. We, as employees, should act as subjects of our supervisors in everything. Paul talked with Timothy about some of the negative manifestations of office politics like gossip and quarrels, but here, Paul says to teach some of the positive ways that employees can engage in office politics--try to do what is helpful to your supervisor and talk respectfully to him or her. That's not brown-nosing or any other idiom you want to use for it. It's just building good relationships. It's not being a yes-man or yes-woman. Disagreement may be the most helpful thing you can do in some circumstances, though you can still disagree respectfully. Our society teaches us that being "subject" to anyone means that we are inferior. I don't think that is how Paul is seeing it. Paul is saying that this person has authority over you by virtue of a position. You responsibility is to show yourself trustworthy and to demonstrate Christ. You can do both in respectful submission to a supervisor.
In the next chapter, Paul talks about submission to government authorities, but those lessons might also be applicable at work. Be obedient. Don't slander your supervisor. Be peaceable. Be considerate and act with humility. All of these paint a picture, not of the rebel looking out for Number One, but for someone who understands the hierarchy of his/her workplace, who respects it, and who is more concerned about reflecting the attitude of Christ than making sure that his/her ego is inflated. Rather than seeing your boss as a threat, consider treating him or her as someone to whom you should submit. Then look for ways to help him/her with work, to "try to please." It will likely take some time, but you may be amazed at the way God moves in your workplace.
Again, this passage is about the master-slave relationship, but it is still applicable to workplaces in our culture. Paul says that Titus should "teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them." Isn't that interesting. We, as employees, should act as subjects of our supervisors in everything. Paul talked with Timothy about some of the negative manifestations of office politics like gossip and quarrels, but here, Paul says to teach some of the positive ways that employees can engage in office politics--try to do what is helpful to your supervisor and talk respectfully to him or her. That's not brown-nosing or any other idiom you want to use for it. It's just building good relationships. It's not being a yes-man or yes-woman. Disagreement may be the most helpful thing you can do in some circumstances, though you can still disagree respectfully. Our society teaches us that being "subject" to anyone means that we are inferior. I don't think that is how Paul is seeing it. Paul is saying that this person has authority over you by virtue of a position. You responsibility is to show yourself trustworthy and to demonstrate Christ. You can do both in respectful submission to a supervisor.
In the next chapter, Paul talks about submission to government authorities, but those lessons might also be applicable at work. Be obedient. Don't slander your supervisor. Be peaceable. Be considerate and act with humility. All of these paint a picture, not of the rebel looking out for Number One, but for someone who understands the hierarchy of his/her workplace, who respects it, and who is more concerned about reflecting the attitude of Christ than making sure that his/her ego is inflated. Rather than seeing your boss as a threat, consider treating him or her as someone to whom you should submit. Then look for ways to help him/her with work, to "try to please." It will likely take some time, but you may be amazed at the way God moves in your workplace.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Quarrels and Gossip
2 Timothy 2:14-16 , 23-24
This passage is also not specfically about work, but I think it's certainly related. There are three keys to living in these verses, each of which applies to workplaces. First, try to avoid quarrels. I think this specifically relates to arguments over smaller issues. Second, work in such a way as to not be ashamed. Make sure that, if your actions were public knowledge, you would not be ashamed for people to know what you're doing. Third, avoid godless chatter. You might think about that as gossip.
One thing occurs to me as I read this passage. All three things relate to some of the negative aspects of office politics. Quarrels/coalitions, backroom deals, and slander seem to be tools of the office politics. Something to remember as you relate to those around you. There are positive aspects to office politics as well--building good relationships, acting credibly, helping others. These are better ways to handle the informal side of work.
This passage is also not specfically about work, but I think it's certainly related. There are three keys to living in these verses, each of which applies to workplaces. First, try to avoid quarrels. I think this specifically relates to arguments over smaller issues. Second, work in such a way as to not be ashamed. Make sure that, if your actions were public knowledge, you would not be ashamed for people to know what you're doing. Third, avoid godless chatter. You might think about that as gossip.
One thing occurs to me as I read this passage. All three things relate to some of the negative aspects of office politics. Quarrels/coalitions, backroom deals, and slander seem to be tools of the office politics. Something to remember as you relate to those around you. There are positive aspects to office politics as well--building good relationships, acting credibly, helping others. These are better ways to handle the informal side of work.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Don't Stir Up Trouble
1 Timothy 1:4-5
This is not about workplaces specifically. In fact, Paul is talking to Timothy about those who cause problems in churches based on obscure details that create controversies. However, I think the lesson could easily be extrapolated to workplaces. Be careful about taking small points of disagreement and turning them into large quarrels. Remember Paul's instruction to live a quiet life? Part of that seems to be being generally agreeable. I don't think that means that you refuse to take a stand on important issues. But I think there is a different between standing for what is right and arguing about smaller details. Know the difference between the big things and the small stuff.
By the way, one sure way to start quarrels in workplaces or any other context is through gossip. 1 Timothy 4:7 tells us not to gossip. That applies at work just as much as other parts of our lives.
This is not about workplaces specifically. In fact, Paul is talking to Timothy about those who cause problems in churches based on obscure details that create controversies. However, I think the lesson could easily be extrapolated to workplaces. Be careful about taking small points of disagreement and turning them into large quarrels. Remember Paul's instruction to live a quiet life? Part of that seems to be being generally agreeable. I don't think that means that you refuse to take a stand on important issues. But I think there is a different between standing for what is right and arguing about smaller details. Know the difference between the big things and the small stuff.
By the way, one sure way to start quarrels in workplaces or any other context is through gossip. 1 Timothy 4:7 tells us not to gossip. That applies at work just as much as other parts of our lives.
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