This post is directed as much at myself as it is written for anyone reading it. Does it drive you crazy when you know you're right about something but no one listens to you? You feel the need to prove that you are right (and that the other person is wrong).
Oswalt Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest writes when we "allow the discernment to turn to criticism, we block God. God never gives us discernment in order that we may criticize, but that we may intercede." (p. 328). Think about that. Suppose that you are right and the other person is wrong (which is a biased assumption, don't forget). Does that give you the right to criticize the other person for not agreeing with you? No.
I've blogged before about how fighting for your rights is rarely in God's interests. Fighting to make someone believe that you're right is also rarely a good idea. If the issue is important, intercede for that person. If it issue is unimportant, let it go.
Again, this post is something that I need help with as much as anyone else. It's tough when you have strong opinions. But not turning your opinions into criticism of the other person is a great way to show God's love to them.
Showing posts with label Conflict. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conflict. Show all posts
Friday, December 9, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
The Art of Peace
Recently, I watched a History Channel documentary on Sun Tzu and the Art of War. If you aren't familiar with it, Sun Tzu was a general in a Chinese province more than 2500 years ago. According to the documentary, Sun Tzu's province, Wu, was under attack from a neighbor. Sun Tzu taught his emperor how to win in combat and later recorded the principles in written form. He emphasized deception, misdirection, and mistrust.
The Art of War has become quite popular, not just as military strategy (it is taught at every military academy), but also as a way of doing business. I searched for "art of war business" on Amazon and had over 500 hits. These are the first six:
• The Art of War for Executives: Ancient Knowledge for Today’s Business Professional
• Sun Tzu and the Art of Business: Six Strategic Principles for Managers
• Sun Tzu—the Art of War for Managers: 50 Strategic Rules Updated for Today’s Business
• Sun Tzu for Success: How to Use the Art of War to Master Challenges and Accomplish the
Important Goals in Your Life.
• Sun Tzu for Women: The Art of War for Winning in Business
Look at that list. I can guess how the strategies proposed by those books compare to the Bible. Jesus advocated turning the other cheek and loving your enemies. Those strategies wouldn't go far in war.
But that's just the point. According to Jesus, your workplace isn't a warzone. You might say, "well, He hasn't seen where I work," but He has. And it doesn't matter what the other people around you are doing. They may be well versed in the Art of War, but you are supposed to respond with the Art of Peace. Paul tells the Romans to be at peace with those around them. And the Church was about to face intense persecution in Rome, probably worse than what you or I experience at work.
The next time you're tempted to maneuver for political advantage at work at someone else's expense, remember the Art of Peace. You're unlikely to win any wars with it, but your General is already taking care of what matters.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
What's Rightfully Yours
Genesis 13:5-12
Genesis 13 shows us a remarkable business transaction. It's probably more common to look at the outcome of the story (Lot goes to live near Sodom and Gomorrah, which are eventually destroyed) rather than looking at the negotiation that led to that outcome. Abraham, because he was from the older generation, had the right of first choice. Think about that. He had the right to choose the best land for himself. Lot would have been stuck with the leftovers. But look at what Abraham said to Lot in verse 9: "If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left." Basically, you get to choose. You can have what's best. I'm sure people of the land would say "what was he thinking?!"
Abraham wasn't interested in pressing for his right. Let's be clear--there would have been nothing wrong with taking the best for himself. But by giving up his right to choose, Abraham was allowing God to take control. Verses 14-17 relate how God blessed Abraham because of his faith. Abraham didn't know about God's blessing ahead of time, and that blessing may not have taken the form he would have liked (for example, Abraham was still childless at this time). Those blessings also do not always come immediately. Abraham had to buy someone else's field to bury Sarah ten chapters later--he still didn't "have" the land. But he knew to trust God rather than holding on to his rights.
Sometimes, we're so concerned about protecting our rights that we forget that God can bless us, even when we allow others to trample on those rights. Jesus' instructions about turning the other cheek (Matt. 5:39, Luke 6:29) are a New Testament example of that same teaching. In Abraham's case, by letting go of his right and trust God, he settled a conflict (verses 7-8) and was blessed by God (verses 14-17). As you interact with others, don't worry that you don't get all of the things that you are due. Don't worry about your rights. I know that's easier to say than to do. Just trust God. His blessings may not be immediate and they may not take the form that you want or expect. But He calls you to love and trust Him more than you love and trust your rights.
Genesis 13 shows us a remarkable business transaction. It's probably more common to look at the outcome of the story (Lot goes to live near Sodom and Gomorrah, which are eventually destroyed) rather than looking at the negotiation that led to that outcome. Abraham, because he was from the older generation, had the right of first choice. Think about that. He had the right to choose the best land for himself. Lot would have been stuck with the leftovers. But look at what Abraham said to Lot in verse 9: "If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left." Basically, you get to choose. You can have what's best. I'm sure people of the land would say "what was he thinking?!"
Abraham wasn't interested in pressing for his right. Let's be clear--there would have been nothing wrong with taking the best for himself. But by giving up his right to choose, Abraham was allowing God to take control. Verses 14-17 relate how God blessed Abraham because of his faith. Abraham didn't know about God's blessing ahead of time, and that blessing may not have taken the form he would have liked (for example, Abraham was still childless at this time). Those blessings also do not always come immediately. Abraham had to buy someone else's field to bury Sarah ten chapters later--he still didn't "have" the land. But he knew to trust God rather than holding on to his rights.
Sometimes, we're so concerned about protecting our rights that we forget that God can bless us, even when we allow others to trample on those rights. Jesus' instructions about turning the other cheek (Matt. 5:39, Luke 6:29) are a New Testament example of that same teaching. In Abraham's case, by letting go of his right and trust God, he settled a conflict (verses 7-8) and was blessed by God (verses 14-17). As you interact with others, don't worry that you don't get all of the things that you are due. Don't worry about your rights. I know that's easier to say than to do. Just trust God. His blessings may not be immediate and they may not take the form that you want or expect. But He calls you to love and trust Him more than you love and trust your rights.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Escalating Conflicts
1 Corinthians 6: 1-11
Have you ever had one of those conflicts that really gets out of control? It probably started over an issue that seemed major at the time but was really not that big of a deal. But now, the whole thing is a much bigger deal. Like the Hatfields and McCoys, what started as a small misunderstanding has become a major feud as one person wrongs another, and the offended makes threats and plots revenge. One outcome of escalating conflicts is taking the other person to court, an option that happens all too frequently these days.
That's not a new problem though. Christians in Paul's day were dealing with conflicts escalating out of control as well. And even then, some of those conflicts were ending up in court. Paul chides the Corinthian Christians for this practice, saying that it completely contradicted what Christ was all about, really for two reasons. First, taking a conflict to court (or sometimes even having a manager or HR director intervene in a conflict) means asking nonbelievers to handle a problem. Here, Paul is specifically talking about conflicts between believers, and Paul says that it is inappropriate for an unbeliever to judge a conflict between believers. I would argue that it's probably wrong for an unbeliever to judge a conflict between a believer and another unbeliever as well based on the second problem that Paul had for condemning court resolution of conflicts. He says that Christians are already defeated when conflicts get to that point! It's better to be wronged, to have your rights violated, than to settle the matter in court. Taking a conflict to court or asking a manager to intervene in a disagreement means that you are standing up for yourself rather than turning the other cheek and forgiving this person.
You may not be on the verge of going to court. But you might be involved in a conflict that's escalating out of control. If so, this passage still applies to you. How can you de-escalate it? First, be determined that, no matter how wronged you are, you will not fight for your rights. They are not worth the damage that this kind of conflict can cause to you and to your reputation as a Christian. As a citizen of God's kingdom, your greater responsibility is to let Him deal with whatever rights you have. Second, try to forgive the other person. It won't happen over night--the conflict probably didn't build in a day and your feelings won't be smoothed that quickly either. But with daily effort and some time, you can do this. Third, pray. Ask God to work in you, helping you reflect Christ by your actions. Remember, He was "led like a lamb to slaughter" (Isaiah 53:7). He didn't stand up for His rights. If you are wronged, neither should you.
Have you ever had one of those conflicts that really gets out of control? It probably started over an issue that seemed major at the time but was really not that big of a deal. But now, the whole thing is a much bigger deal. Like the Hatfields and McCoys, what started as a small misunderstanding has become a major feud as one person wrongs another, and the offended makes threats and plots revenge. One outcome of escalating conflicts is taking the other person to court, an option that happens all too frequently these days.
That's not a new problem though. Christians in Paul's day were dealing with conflicts escalating out of control as well. And even then, some of those conflicts were ending up in court. Paul chides the Corinthian Christians for this practice, saying that it completely contradicted what Christ was all about, really for two reasons. First, taking a conflict to court (or sometimes even having a manager or HR director intervene in a conflict) means asking nonbelievers to handle a problem. Here, Paul is specifically talking about conflicts between believers, and Paul says that it is inappropriate for an unbeliever to judge a conflict between believers. I would argue that it's probably wrong for an unbeliever to judge a conflict between a believer and another unbeliever as well based on the second problem that Paul had for condemning court resolution of conflicts. He says that Christians are already defeated when conflicts get to that point! It's better to be wronged, to have your rights violated, than to settle the matter in court. Taking a conflict to court or asking a manager to intervene in a disagreement means that you are standing up for yourself rather than turning the other cheek and forgiving this person.
You may not be on the verge of going to court. But you might be involved in a conflict that's escalating out of control. If so, this passage still applies to you. How can you de-escalate it? First, be determined that, no matter how wronged you are, you will not fight for your rights. They are not worth the damage that this kind of conflict can cause to you and to your reputation as a Christian. As a citizen of God's kingdom, your greater responsibility is to let Him deal with whatever rights you have. Second, try to forgive the other person. It won't happen over night--the conflict probably didn't build in a day and your feelings won't be smoothed that quickly either. But with daily effort and some time, you can do this. Third, pray. Ask God to work in you, helping you reflect Christ by your actions. Remember, He was "led like a lamb to slaughter" (Isaiah 53:7). He didn't stand up for His rights. If you are wronged, neither should you.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Taking Criticism
One of the hardest things to do in any job is to take criticism. Sometimes, that criticism is persecution for being Christian, for being different than everyone else. Jesus tells us to expect this because he was persecuted for being different. Other times, criticism focus on job-related tasks or performance. When the criticism is undeserved, we feel cheated or disrespected. Even when the criticism is deserved, we may feel embarassed or angry about the attention. Two key parts of my job as a professor are teaching and research, and both subject me to criticism. It's almost impossible to please all the students in a class while still maintaining rigor. Student evaluations at the end of the year, even good ones, rarely indicate perfect scores. There's always something. Part of publishing academic research is listening to feedback from peers, feedback that always includes criticism and may often involve substantial rejects. Whatever your job, you can be sure that you'll face criticism at some point.
If you face criticism in your job, take these steps. First, remember that Jesus was perfect but he was still criticized. He knows what you're going through. Second, remember that God's opinion is the only one that counts. Work to please Him. Third, if you've done something wrong or below standards, fix it. Remember to work as if working for God. Be honest with yourself. Could your work have been better? Fourth, regardless of whether the criticism is deserved or not, do your best to not respond in anger or defensiveness. Think back to the first two steps. Jesus was criticized also and God's opinion is all that counts. Finally, use that as an opportunity to think about how you communicate with others. How often do you criticize others? When you do so, is it constructive. And does it come across as constructive?
If you face criticism in your job, take these steps. First, remember that Jesus was perfect but he was still criticized. He knows what you're going through. Second, remember that God's opinion is the only one that counts. Work to please Him. Third, if you've done something wrong or below standards, fix it. Remember to work as if working for God. Be honest with yourself. Could your work have been better? Fourth, regardless of whether the criticism is deserved or not, do your best to not respond in anger or defensiveness. Think back to the first two steps. Jesus was criticized also and God's opinion is all that counts. Finally, use that as an opportunity to think about how you communicate with others. How often do you criticize others? When you do so, is it constructive. And does it come across as constructive?
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Be at Peace with Others
Romans 12:9-21
Sometimes, we get into conflicts with other people. There's no avoiding it. No matter how well you reflect Christ at work, you're going to find yourself in conflict with someone. In face, someone might be at odds with you just because of your faith. But other times, conflicts occur when we fight for our way, when our ambitions cause conflicts with others. Paul speaks to those occasions. "Live in harmony with others...as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." I see this verse as a call to not cause conflicts. Even when someone wrongs you, as Christians, you are called to turn the other cheek and show love to others. It's not easy, but it is one way to demonstrate how your faith makes you different. The world will tell you to fight back, to take up for yourself. Jesus tells you to deny yourself. If you have wronged anyone, you should make it right immediately. If someone is trying to pick a fight with you, "bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse...do not repay evil for evil...do not seek revenge." At the end of the day, the issue of blame doesn't matter--give in to the other person, regardless of who is in the right.
There's a motivation issue here as well. It's not about loving them for the purpose of "heaping burning coals on their head." Kill them with kindness, so to speak? The motivation is not kindness so that they'll feel guilty about mistreating you. It's about showing Christ's love, even when others don't deserve it.
Sometimes, we get into conflicts with other people. There's no avoiding it. No matter how well you reflect Christ at work, you're going to find yourself in conflict with someone. In face, someone might be at odds with you just because of your faith. But other times, conflicts occur when we fight for our way, when our ambitions cause conflicts with others. Paul speaks to those occasions. "Live in harmony with others...as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." I see this verse as a call to not cause conflicts. Even when someone wrongs you, as Christians, you are called to turn the other cheek and show love to others. It's not easy, but it is one way to demonstrate how your faith makes you different. The world will tell you to fight back, to take up for yourself. Jesus tells you to deny yourself. If you have wronged anyone, you should make it right immediately. If someone is trying to pick a fight with you, "bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse...do not repay evil for evil...do not seek revenge." At the end of the day, the issue of blame doesn't matter--give in to the other person, regardless of who is in the right.
There's a motivation issue here as well. It's not about loving them for the purpose of "heaping burning coals on their head." Kill them with kindness, so to speak? The motivation is not kindness so that they'll feel guilty about mistreating you. It's about showing Christ's love, even when others don't deserve it.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
You Have Heard It Said...
Matthew 5:21-26
As part of the Beautitudes, Jesus discusses a number of ideas about general living. In verse 21 and following, Jesus addresses the idea that murder is unacceptable. True, He says, but hating someone is just as bad. Jesus comes down pretty hard on people just for being angry and for calling someone a fool. He says that resolving a conflict is more important than even worship.
"If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."
Then Jesus has more instructions for conflicts: settle before things get serious. Paul says something very similar about taking care of anger. It doesn't always matter who's "right." You may find yourself on the wrong side, even if you think you're right.
Now think about your workplace. Have you had any conflicts recently? Remember, it doesn't matter whether you were right or not. Settle it quickly, even if it means you don't get what you think you deserve. Are you angry with someone at work? Don't dwell on it, and be careful about what you call the other person. It's not that it's necessarily wrong to be miffed at someone else. But what do you do next? Do you dwell on it, imagine getting back at the person, sabotage his or her work, and be generally disagreeable? Or do you talk to him or her, forgive (even if the other person doesn't apologize), and give the situation to God?
As part of the Beautitudes, Jesus discusses a number of ideas about general living. In verse 21 and following, Jesus addresses the idea that murder is unacceptable. True, He says, but hating someone is just as bad. Jesus comes down pretty hard on people just for being angry and for calling someone a fool. He says that resolving a conflict is more important than even worship.
"If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."
Then Jesus has more instructions for conflicts: settle before things get serious. Paul says something very similar about taking care of anger. It doesn't always matter who's "right." You may find yourself on the wrong side, even if you think you're right.
Now think about your workplace. Have you had any conflicts recently? Remember, it doesn't matter whether you were right or not. Settle it quickly, even if it means you don't get what you think you deserve. Are you angry with someone at work? Don't dwell on it, and be careful about what you call the other person. It's not that it's necessarily wrong to be miffed at someone else. But what do you do next? Do you dwell on it, imagine getting back at the person, sabotage his or her work, and be generally disagreeable? Or do you talk to him or her, forgive (even if the other person doesn't apologize), and give the situation to God?
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Blessed are the Peacemakers
Matthew 5:9
I’ve blogged about people who fan the fires of conflict in their workplaces by interfering or by gossiping. But what about those people who are able to diffuse tense feelings and defensiveness in others and bring peace? You’ve probably seen that type of person. He or she is much rarer than the gossip or the defensive person. The peacemaker is one who shows people the big picture. This person refuses to worry about earthly struggles, but knows that being with Jesus is everything. That doesn’t mean the peacemaker is an absent-minded worker. On the contrary, he or she knows that work is for God’s glory. They are optimistically content because they know that God is in control. And other people see those qualities. We admire people who can resolve conflict. It’s not that people never disagree—it’s that those conflicts don’t boil over into wars between people in the office.
What kind of influence are you? Are you a peacemaker or are you one who fans the fire? I would like to say that I’m a peacemaker, and sometimes that’s true. Other times, I am guilty of gossiping about a feud or of egging someone on in getting revenge. But I’m working on it. I’m working on being a peacemaker because I want a child of God.
I’ve blogged about people who fan the fires of conflict in their workplaces by interfering or by gossiping. But what about those people who are able to diffuse tense feelings and defensiveness in others and bring peace? You’ve probably seen that type of person. He or she is much rarer than the gossip or the defensive person. The peacemaker is one who shows people the big picture. This person refuses to worry about earthly struggles, but knows that being with Jesus is everything. That doesn’t mean the peacemaker is an absent-minded worker. On the contrary, he or she knows that work is for God’s glory. They are optimistically content because they know that God is in control. And other people see those qualities. We admire people who can resolve conflict. It’s not that people never disagree—it’s that those conflicts don’t boil over into wars between people in the office.
What kind of influence are you? Are you a peacemaker or are you one who fans the fire? I would like to say that I’m a peacemaker, and sometimes that’s true. Other times, I am guilty of gossiping about a feud or of egging someone on in getting revenge. But I’m working on it. I’m working on being a peacemaker because I want a child of God.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Conflict with Coworkers
Proverbs 26:17-20
These verses have to do with general principles regarding conflict, but I think they are as applicable within a workplace as they are in any other context. Verse 17 says, "Like one who seizes a dog by the ears is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own." Pretty powerful imagery. Have you ever seen two people upset with each other and wanted to help? It's only natural to want to make peace if two people around you are in conflict. But be careful. You may be seen as taking sides, or your friend may turn on you specifically for not taking sides. Anything you say can be misinterpreted. Be very careful.
The next two verses have to do with sarcasm or practical jokes. "Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, "I was only joking!" People that know me really well will tell you that I love to kid around. Many people consider a good sense of humor a must for dealing with people. But be careful how you use humor. Sometimes people don't get the joke, particularly when they are the target. Playing a trick on someone or making a coworker believe something that isn't true and saying, "Gotcha!" can backfire.
Finally, verse 20 (as well as verse 22) warns about the danger of gossip. How much worse are conflicts when people start talking about them?! Whereas two coworkers might otherwise let a conflict between them die out, when the rest of the office is talking about it, the conflict grows bigger and bigger. People take sides and tell each person that he or she is justified in being upset. Misinformation is rampant as rumors get back to each side. Pretty soon, the positions are locked and the chances of managing the conflict while preserving relationships dwindle. The metaphor of this proverb is apt: the fire of office conflict might die out, but gossip rekindles hurts, indignation, and anger to keep it going.
I think these are interesting thoughts about coworker conflicts, particularly applicable in today's workplaces where dealing with people is a must.
These verses have to do with general principles regarding conflict, but I think they are as applicable within a workplace as they are in any other context. Verse 17 says, "Like one who seizes a dog by the ears is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own." Pretty powerful imagery. Have you ever seen two people upset with each other and wanted to help? It's only natural to want to make peace if two people around you are in conflict. But be careful. You may be seen as taking sides, or your friend may turn on you specifically for not taking sides. Anything you say can be misinterpreted. Be very careful.
The next two verses have to do with sarcasm or practical jokes. "Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, "I was only joking!" People that know me really well will tell you that I love to kid around. Many people consider a good sense of humor a must for dealing with people. But be careful how you use humor. Sometimes people don't get the joke, particularly when they are the target. Playing a trick on someone or making a coworker believe something that isn't true and saying, "Gotcha!" can backfire.
Finally, verse 20 (as well as verse 22) warns about the danger of gossip. How much worse are conflicts when people start talking about them?! Whereas two coworkers might otherwise let a conflict between them die out, when the rest of the office is talking about it, the conflict grows bigger and bigger. People take sides and tell each person that he or she is justified in being upset. Misinformation is rampant as rumors get back to each side. Pretty soon, the positions are locked and the chances of managing the conflict while preserving relationships dwindle. The metaphor of this proverb is apt: the fire of office conflict might die out, but gossip rekindles hurts, indignation, and anger to keep it going.
I think these are interesting thoughts about coworker conflicts, particularly applicable in today's workplaces where dealing with people is a must.
Friday, October 22, 2010
A Gentle Answer
Proverbs 15:1
This is a “general living” proverb instead of being workplace specific, but I think it applies to work very neatly. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Whether you are correcting someone, giving advice, or just venting about how you think things should be, a gentle tone and a little bit of tact go a long way. When someone says something offensive to you, instead of responding in kind, consider a gentle answer. When a subordinate (or coworker or supervisor) screws up, consider responding with a gentle answer. In any situation where you are heating up, try to take a second to cool down and respond to the people in that situation with a gentle answer. That can go a long way toward soothing relationships than reacting defensively, which tends to “stir up anger.”
This is a “general living” proverb instead of being workplace specific, but I think it applies to work very neatly. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Whether you are correcting someone, giving advice, or just venting about how you think things should be, a gentle tone and a little bit of tact go a long way. When someone says something offensive to you, instead of responding in kind, consider a gentle answer. When a subordinate (or coworker or supervisor) screws up, consider responding with a gentle answer. In any situation where you are heating up, try to take a second to cool down and respond to the people in that situation with a gentle answer. That can go a long way toward soothing relationships than reacting defensively, which tends to “stir up anger.”
Friday, October 15, 2010
Don't Withhold Good
Prov. 3:27-30
This set of proverbs is not specifically about work, but I think it's very applicable. Don't withhold good from those who deserve it when it's within your power to act. In other words, if you can help someone, do it. All work can be isolating from time to time, especially in workplaces that foster competition and pit coworker against coworker. That can create the temptation that you can ignore the needs of others while working on your tasks. This proverb counters that to some extent. If it's within your power to help someone, do it.
Don't say to your neighbor, "Come back tomorrow and I'll give it to you then," when you now have it with you. I kind of see this as a "pay what you owe" to people proverb as well as fulfilling other commitments. God saw this as important even as He gave the Law to the Israelites in the desert. Just like you should not withhold good from others, you shouldn't try to get out of paying what they have worked for.
Finally, don't plan to harm a neighbor who trusts you and has done you know harm. In business, people sometimes feel the need to get ahead of someone else and will preemptively strike them so that the other person doesn't have time to anticipate the attack. This proverb is saying, don't do that. If people are working and at peace with you, don't plot to backstab them.
Interesting thoughts for daily life in general, but particularly insightful as one applies them to work.
This set of proverbs is not specifically about work, but I think it's very applicable. Don't withhold good from those who deserve it when it's within your power to act. In other words, if you can help someone, do it. All work can be isolating from time to time, especially in workplaces that foster competition and pit coworker against coworker. That can create the temptation that you can ignore the needs of others while working on your tasks. This proverb counters that to some extent. If it's within your power to help someone, do it.
Don't say to your neighbor, "Come back tomorrow and I'll give it to you then," when you now have it with you. I kind of see this as a "pay what you owe" to people proverb as well as fulfilling other commitments. God saw this as important even as He gave the Law to the Israelites in the desert. Just like you should not withhold good from others, you shouldn't try to get out of paying what they have worked for.
Finally, don't plan to harm a neighbor who trusts you and has done you know harm. In business, people sometimes feel the need to get ahead of someone else and will preemptively strike them so that the other person doesn't have time to anticipate the attack. This proverb is saying, don't do that. If people are working and at peace with you, don't plot to backstab them.
Interesting thoughts for daily life in general, but particularly insightful as one applies them to work.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Serve One Another In Love
Galatians 5:13-15
The context of this passage is more about church conflicts than work conflicts, but I think the principle is applicable in both settings. Paul warns the Galatian Christians that "if you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other." What an apt picture of some workplace conflicts. They may start small, with each person noticing annoyances in the other or with each person afraid that his or her turf is being challenged. That's the biting. Soon, it may move to devouring as each plots and protects, unwilling to surrender anything that might give the other an upper hand or a sense of victory. That's not how God sees conflict. Serve one another in love. Love your neighbor as yourself. How would your behavior at work change if you were trying to serve your coworker in love or trying to love your subordinate as yourself?
The context of this passage is more about church conflicts than work conflicts, but I think the principle is applicable in both settings. Paul warns the Galatian Christians that "if you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other." What an apt picture of some workplace conflicts. They may start small, with each person noticing annoyances in the other or with each person afraid that his or her turf is being challenged. That's the biting. Soon, it may move to devouring as each plots and protects, unwilling to surrender anything that might give the other an upper hand or a sense of victory. That's not how God sees conflict. Serve one another in love. Love your neighbor as yourself. How would your behavior at work change if you were trying to serve your coworker in love or trying to love your subordinate as yourself?
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Harmonize
1 Peter 3:8-9, 13
This passage is referring primarily to husbands and wives. Live in harmony with each other. Who will harm you for doing good? However, I think both thoughts can be applied to workplaces. As much as you can, live in harmony with others. Why? Because you're less likely to have others wanting to harm you. That doesn't mean that coworkers, supervisors, or subordinates may not occasionally resent you for something. But if you are seeking harmony with others, your time at work will be much more peaceful than if you are consistently involved in conflict. When someone crosses you and you're tempted to pursue the conflict, consider, "is this really something I need to do." It may be. But take a moment to think about the costs of disharmony before you act.
This passage is referring primarily to husbands and wives. Live in harmony with each other. Who will harm you for doing good? However, I think both thoughts can be applied to workplaces. As much as you can, live in harmony with others. Why? Because you're less likely to have others wanting to harm you. That doesn't mean that coworkers, supervisors, or subordinates may not occasionally resent you for something. But if you are seeking harmony with others, your time at work will be much more peaceful than if you are consistently involved in conflict. When someone crosses you and you're tempted to pursue the conflict, consider, "is this really something I need to do." It may be. But take a moment to think about the costs of disharmony before you act.
Monday, August 16, 2010
What Causes Conflict
James 4:1-10
Do you ever find yourself having conflicts with people more frequently than usually? Are there certain issues that are "hot button" issues with you? And more importantly, do the people that you work with know what those issues are? James has an interesting perspective on conflicts. The context for this passage is more closely related to church conflict, but I think the principles can be extrapolated to workplace conflicts as well. Why do you have conflicts? James says because of "the desires that battle within you." You want something, but you don't get it. Then you respond by killing and coveting. In a workplace, perhaps we could add you respond by backstabbing, lying, cheating, manipulating. The list goes on and on. James responds, "You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." You do not receive because you ask with wrong (read: selfish) motives. Think about the things that you fight for/about at work. Are you fighting with wrong motives? Be honest with yourself on this one. It's all too easy to say no, I'm fighting for the betterment of the company. But is that your real motivation, more than trying to make your own life more convenient.
The cure is in verses 6-10. Look at how many times James uses the words humble or submit. I don't know that humbling yourself will get you out of every conflict because not everyone will be doing that also. But your approach to conflict will be radically different. Instead of "how can I get my way," perhaps your thoughts will be "how can God be glorified through my interaction with this other person." Then ask God to help you do that. He won't disappoint you as you ask with unselfish motives.
Do you ever find yourself having conflicts with people more frequently than usually? Are there certain issues that are "hot button" issues with you? And more importantly, do the people that you work with know what those issues are? James has an interesting perspective on conflicts. The context for this passage is more closely related to church conflict, but I think the principles can be extrapolated to workplace conflicts as well. Why do you have conflicts? James says because of "the desires that battle within you." You want something, but you don't get it. Then you respond by killing and coveting. In a workplace, perhaps we could add you respond by backstabbing, lying, cheating, manipulating. The list goes on and on. James responds, "You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." You do not receive because you ask with wrong (read: selfish) motives. Think about the things that you fight for/about at work. Are you fighting with wrong motives? Be honest with yourself on this one. It's all too easy to say no, I'm fighting for the betterment of the company. But is that your real motivation, more than trying to make your own life more convenient.
The cure is in verses 6-10. Look at how many times James uses the words humble or submit. I don't know that humbling yourself will get you out of every conflict because not everyone will be doing that also. But your approach to conflict will be radically different. Instead of "how can I get my way," perhaps your thoughts will be "how can God be glorified through my interaction with this other person." Then ask God to help you do that. He won't disappoint you as you ask with unselfish motives.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Quarrels and Gossip
2 Timothy 2:14-16 , 23-24
This passage is also not specfically about work, but I think it's certainly related. There are three keys to living in these verses, each of which applies to workplaces. First, try to avoid quarrels. I think this specifically relates to arguments over smaller issues. Second, work in such a way as to not be ashamed. Make sure that, if your actions were public knowledge, you would not be ashamed for people to know what you're doing. Third, avoid godless chatter. You might think about that as gossip.
One thing occurs to me as I read this passage. All three things relate to some of the negative aspects of office politics. Quarrels/coalitions, backroom deals, and slander seem to be tools of the office politics. Something to remember as you relate to those around you. There are positive aspects to office politics as well--building good relationships, acting credibly, helping others. These are better ways to handle the informal side of work.
This passage is also not specfically about work, but I think it's certainly related. There are three keys to living in these verses, each of which applies to workplaces. First, try to avoid quarrels. I think this specifically relates to arguments over smaller issues. Second, work in such a way as to not be ashamed. Make sure that, if your actions were public knowledge, you would not be ashamed for people to know what you're doing. Third, avoid godless chatter. You might think about that as gossip.
One thing occurs to me as I read this passage. All three things relate to some of the negative aspects of office politics. Quarrels/coalitions, backroom deals, and slander seem to be tools of the office politics. Something to remember as you relate to those around you. There are positive aspects to office politics as well--building good relationships, acting credibly, helping others. These are better ways to handle the informal side of work.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Don't Stir Up Trouble
1 Timothy 1:4-5
This is not about workplaces specifically. In fact, Paul is talking to Timothy about those who cause problems in churches based on obscure details that create controversies. However, I think the lesson could easily be extrapolated to workplaces. Be careful about taking small points of disagreement and turning them into large quarrels. Remember Paul's instruction to live a quiet life? Part of that seems to be being generally agreeable. I don't think that means that you refuse to take a stand on important issues. But I think there is a different between standing for what is right and arguing about smaller details. Know the difference between the big things and the small stuff.
By the way, one sure way to start quarrels in workplaces or any other context is through gossip. 1 Timothy 4:7 tells us not to gossip. That applies at work just as much as other parts of our lives.
This is not about workplaces specifically. In fact, Paul is talking to Timothy about those who cause problems in churches based on obscure details that create controversies. However, I think the lesson could easily be extrapolated to workplaces. Be careful about taking small points of disagreement and turning them into large quarrels. Remember Paul's instruction to live a quiet life? Part of that seems to be being generally agreeable. I don't think that means that you refuse to take a stand on important issues. But I think there is a different between standing for what is right and arguing about smaller details. Know the difference between the big things and the small stuff.
By the way, one sure way to start quarrels in workplaces or any other context is through gossip. 1 Timothy 4:7 tells us not to gossip. That applies at work just as much as other parts of our lives.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Feel Free to Disagree
2 Samuel 12:1-12
cf 2 Sam 12:27-28; 14:1-20; 16:9; 18:3, 12, 19-23; 19:5-7, 24:3
One of the things that I really appreciate about David is that he surrounded himself with people who weren't afraid to disagree with him, to express dissent with his decisions. 2 Samuel 12:1-12 is the relatively famous example of Nathan confronting David about his sin with Bathsheba. Later in the chapter, Joab tells David to stop staying at home and come out to battle with the army (verses 27-28). Chapter 14 describes Joab's unique dissent regarding David's treatment of Absalom. The census, Joab's mourning Absalom, the list goes on and on. What do these stories say about work? I think sometimes we think that being Christian means that we can never disagree with anyone, and perhaps especially our supervisors. These stories demonstrate that dissenting at work, disagreeing with those in charge, is sometimes necessary. If there's a situation at work that you think needs to change, there's nothing wrong with speaking up about it. You may even have an obligation to do so if the problem is an ethical one. Be sure to use tact and humility though.
cf 2 Sam 12:27-28; 14:1-20; 16:9; 18:3, 12, 19-23; 19:5-7, 24:3
One of the things that I really appreciate about David is that he surrounded himself with people who weren't afraid to disagree with him, to express dissent with his decisions. 2 Samuel 12:1-12 is the relatively famous example of Nathan confronting David about his sin with Bathsheba. Later in the chapter, Joab tells David to stop staying at home and come out to battle with the army (verses 27-28). Chapter 14 describes Joab's unique dissent regarding David's treatment of Absalom. The census, Joab's mourning Absalom, the list goes on and on. What do these stories say about work? I think sometimes we think that being Christian means that we can never disagree with anyone, and perhaps especially our supervisors. These stories demonstrate that dissenting at work, disagreeing with those in charge, is sometimes necessary. If there's a situation at work that you think needs to change, there's nothing wrong with speaking up about it. You may even have an obligation to do so if the problem is an ethical one. Be sure to use tact and humility though.
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