Conflict with Coworkers

Proverbs 26:17-20

These verses have to do with general principles regarding conflict, but I think they are as applicable within a workplace as they are in any other context. Verse 17 says, "Like one who seizes a dog by the ears is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own." Pretty powerful imagery. Have you ever seen two people upset with each other and wanted to help? It's only natural to want to make peace if two people around you are in conflict. But be careful. You may be seen as taking sides, or your friend may turn on you specifically for not taking sides. Anything you say can be misinterpreted. Be very careful.

The next two verses have to do with sarcasm or practical jokes. "Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, "I was only joking!" People that know me really well will tell you that I love to kid around. Many people consider a good sense of humor a must for dealing with people. But be careful how you use humor. Sometimes people don't get the joke, particularly when they are the target. Playing a trick on someone or making a coworker believe something that isn't true and saying, "Gotcha!" can backfire.

Finally, verse 20 (as well as verse 22) warns about the danger of gossip. How much worse are conflicts when people start talking about them?! Whereas two coworkers might otherwise let a conflict between them die out, when the rest of the office is talking about it, the conflict grows bigger and bigger. People take sides and tell each person that he or she is justified in being upset. Misinformation is rampant as rumors get back to each side. Pretty soon, the positions are locked and the chances of managing the conflict while preserving relationships dwindle. The metaphor of this proverb is apt: the fire of office conflict might die out, but gossip rekindles hurts, indignation, and anger to keep it going.

I think these are interesting thoughts about coworker conflicts, particularly applicable in today's workplaces where dealing with people is a must.