More Thoughts on Flattery

Proverbs 26:24-26, 28:23

Let's be clear. When the Bible uses the word "flattery," it's not referring to giving genuine compliments. That is a practice that's almost always a great idea. No, flattery in the Bible is telling people what they want to hear, usually when you don't believe what you say. "Yes, boss, that's a great idea." "I don't know what management was thinking, you really deserved that promotion." "Will do, whatever you say." Those thoughts could be sincere acknowledgements of a boss or coworker. But on the other hand, they could also be insincere attempts to win attention or influence others. It's that second classification that the Bible warns against. Look at verses 24 and 25: "A malicious man disguises himself with his lips, but in his heart he harbors deceit. Though his speech is charming, do not believe him, for seven abominations fill his heart." Another way to read "disguises himself with his lips" might be "thinks he (or she) can talk his way out of anything." Again, there's the deceit factor. These are not genuine compliments that are being dished out. Verse 28 says that a flattering mouth works ruin. Pretty harsh.

Be sure of this. If you think you can work your way up the ladder and avoid disappointments by telling people what you think they want to hear, watch out! Verse 27 says that it's probably going to come back to haunt you, and verse 26 states that your (mis)deeds will be publicly exposed. People will eventually catch on, and all the talking in the world may not make things right. Perhaps worst of all, people will begin to not trust you, and that trust may be very hard to win back.

Proverbs 28:23 has a fitting final word on all of this. False flattery may help you advance or help you to influence others. But at the end of the day, "he who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue." That is to say, that people want others around them that they can trust. In the workplace, competent managers are those who don't surround themselves with yes-people, those who tell them what they want to hear. Competent managers surround themselves with people who look at things objectively and speak the truth (with tact), even when it means disagreeing.