Escalating Conflicts

1 Corinthians 6: 1-11

Have you ever had one of those conflicts that really gets out of control? It probably started over an issue that seemed major at the time but was really not that big of a deal. But now, the whole thing is a much bigger deal. Like the Hatfields and McCoys, what started as a small misunderstanding has become a major feud as one person wrongs another, and the offended makes threats and plots revenge. One outcome of escalating conflicts is taking the other person to court, an option that happens all too frequently these days.

That's not a new problem though. Christians in Paul's day were dealing with conflicts escalating out of control as well. And even then, some of those conflicts were ending up in court. Paul chides the Corinthian Christians for this practice, saying that it completely contradicted what Christ was all about, really for two reasons. First, taking a conflict to court (or sometimes even having a manager or HR director intervene in a conflict) means asking nonbelievers to handle a problem. Here, Paul is specifically talking about conflicts between believers, and Paul says that it is inappropriate for an unbeliever to judge a conflict between believers. I would argue that it's probably wrong for an unbeliever to judge a conflict between a believer and another unbeliever as well based on the second problem that Paul had for condemning court resolution of conflicts. He says that Christians are already defeated when conflicts get to that point! It's better to be wronged, to have your rights violated, than to settle the matter in court. Taking a conflict to court or asking a manager to intervene in a disagreement means that you are standing up for yourself rather than turning the other cheek and forgiving this person.

You may not be on the verge of going to court. But you might be involved in a conflict that's escalating out of control. If so, this passage still applies to you. How can you de-escalate it? First, be determined that, no matter how wronged you are, you will not fight for your rights. They are not worth the damage that this kind of conflict can cause to you and to your reputation as a Christian. As a citizen of God's kingdom, your greater responsibility is to let Him deal with whatever rights you have. Second, try to forgive the other person. It won't happen over night--the conflict probably didn't build in a day and your feelings won't be smoothed that quickly either. But with daily effort and some time, you can do this. Third, pray. Ask God to work in you, helping you reflect Christ by your actions. Remember, He was "led like a lamb to slaughter" (Isaiah 53:7). He didn't stand up for His rights. If you are wronged, neither should you.